Mums Need a Village. But Where Is It?

Mar 19, 2025

Motherhood was never meant to be a solo journey.

For most of history, women birthed, healed, and raised their babies within a village. They were supported, nurtured, and surrounded by others who knew what it took to raise a child.

Now, many women find themselves mothering in isolation. They give birth and are sent home, expected to do it all, recover, breastfeed, function on broken sleep, and keep life running, all without the support they truly need.

The village is missing. And mothers are struggling because of it.

The Village Mothers Once Had

For generations, women didn’t mother alone. They raised babies alongside other women, family, friends, neighbours, and elders who had been through it before.

Grandmothers passed down knowledge about birth, feeding, and baby care.
Sisters and aunties cared for the mother, so she could rest and recover.
The community played a role in raising children, making sure no mother was overwhelmed or burnt out.

This was the village.

It wasn’t a luxury. It was how motherhood was designed to be.

Why The Village Disappeared

The support system that once surrounded mothers didn’t just vanish. It was slowly dismantled.

Modern Society Prioritises Independence Over Community. We are told we should be able to do it all. That asking for help is weakness. That success means doing things alone. But motherhood was never meant to be self-sufficient.
Families Are More Isolated Than Ever. Many women no longer live near family. Communities are disconnected. We are raising children in separate homes, separate routines, separate lives, without the natural overlap of daily support.
Cultural Shifts Have Changed How We See Motherhood. New mothers are expected to bounce back quickly, return to work, and keep up with life as if they didn’t just go through a major transformation. Postpartum care is barely an afterthought.
Birth Has Been Moved Into Institutions, Not Communities. Women once learned about birth and mothering by witnessing it in their own communities. Now, birth happens behind closed hospital doors, and new mothers are sent home with no guidance, no care, and no real preparation for what comes next.

The Impact of Mothering Without a Village

Without a village, motherhood feels overwhelming, exhausting, and lonely.

1 in 7 new mothers experience postnatal depression.
Many feel isolated, unsupported, and unseen.
The pressure to be the "perfect mother" is higher than ever.
The lack of real postpartum care leads to burnout, depletion, and disconnection.

The village wasn’t just about making things easier. It was about ensuring the health, wellbeing, and survival of both mother and baby.

And when mothers are left to do it alone, they suffer.

How We Can Rebuild the Village

The village isn’t gone forever. But it won’t rebuild itself.

Here’s how we bring it back:

1. Ask for Help, and Accept It

Many women hesitate to ask for help because they don’t want to be a burden. But motherhood was never meant to be done alone. Start with small asks, someone to bring you a meal, hold the baby while you nap, or simply sit with you in the messy moments.

2. Create Your Own Community

If family support isn’t available, build your own village. Join local mother’s groups, connect with like-minded women, and lean on friendships that make you feel seen.

3. Change the Narrative Around Motherhood

We need to normalise the truth, motherhood is hard. It’s not a test of endurance. It’s a season that requires support, slowness, and shared care.

4. Offer Support to Other Mothers

Be the village for someone else. Check in on your friends. Drop off a meal. Offer to hold their baby while they shower. Sometimes, small acts of support make the biggest difference.

5. Seek Postpartum Care That Actually Cares

Western postpartum care is almost nonexistent. But there are ways to create a supported postpartum experience, through doulas, postpartum planning, meal support, and communities that centre the mother, not just the baby.

You Deserve a Village

You were never meant to do this alone.

Mothers thrive when they are supported, nurtured, and surrounded by a village that sees them. The good news? The village isn’t completely lost. We can rebuild it, one mother, one connection, one act of support at a time.